You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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