life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
