You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I love you.
Bad choice
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