She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
