i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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