Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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