Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
