don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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