I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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