i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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