guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My pussy is not your playground.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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