dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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