Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
