We won't sleep together?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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