you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
