I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
zippers are such a cool invention
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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