definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
