we're blogging at a bar
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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