Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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