Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
