i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
