Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
