Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
