ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
