And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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