bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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