Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
