she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I came so hard my ears popped.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
