Don't make out with my wife yet
Soap is not a condiment
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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