I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
