everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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