We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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