spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm like, not good at living.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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