just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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