You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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