Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
