Someone shit on the floor
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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