another moral hangover. fuck.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
