everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
