So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
