I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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