When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Fuck me I smell like cheese
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
