Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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