Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
