A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
