If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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