Swine flu. Run for my life!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
