Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
