I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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