Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
