D3 body, D1 cock
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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