Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
