dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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