Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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