I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
